Please note: I am a triathlete too, and I HAVE done one or more of these things at some point in my life, and will probably do them again.
Ok, don't get me wrong, I LOVE the sport of triathlon. It is one of my biggest passions in life, but sometimes I just cant help to be embarrassed about calling myself a triathlete. The shit some of us do is completely ridiculous.
Here is a list of why everyone is making fun of triathletes. What would you add to this?
- #1) Compression in public
Why is it that every time I go to the airport, I see some clown with his neon colored compression calf socks on with Shorts? I totally understand the purpose of compression socks, but do you really find it necessary to have every one see them? Slow down Turbo, we get it you are going to a triathlon, awesome, put some damn jeans on. Wearing shorts on a airplane is gross anyway. If I sit next to some dude with hairy legs wearing shorts, I am going to be upset and probably accidentally spill coffee on you.
- #2) Social Media Workout bragging
I am not saying you should never post anything triathlon related to facebook/twitter, It's a huge part of our daily lives, so be proud, but seriously, no one cares about the details of every one of your workouts. They have created an app called Strava that was designed specifically for that. Hit it up my friends.
- #3) Finisher Medals to Dinner
Dude, seriously, once you leave the race site, it's time to hang the finisher medal up.. Take a picture of it along with your blistered feet, post it on Instagram, and call it a day. Bringing the medal to dinner so your waiter can comment is far from necessary.
- #4) Tattoos
This might offend many of my friends, because this applies to many of them, but I mean this is the nicest way possible. Nothing blows my mind more than the people that tattoo a corporate logo to their calf because of the fact that they participated in an event. However, if anyone is willing to donate $1000 to my party fund, I will let them tattoo the Taco Bell logo on my ass. Any takers? $1500 for Burger King.
- #5) Absurd amounts of Stickers on cars.
70.3 stickers, 26.2 sticks, 140.6 stickers, M-Dot stickers... Less ridiculous than the tattoos, but still. Guys, we get it, you do triathlons. You are probably super fast too! For every "race related" sticker, make it a goal to also have one political sticker to balance it out. I like the Obama Care stickers personally.
- #6) Bike Set ups
One of my favorite things to do when I am in transition is looking at the ridiculous things people put on their bikes. I once saw a banana taped to the top tube for a sprint triathlon! I am still waiting for the day that someone has an entire pizza strapped to their handlebars. I promise, it doesn't have to be this complicated.
Please note: I am a triathlete too, and I HAVE done one or more of these things at some point in my life, and will probably do them again. Please see my photo below. This article is intended as a joke, If you take shit like this too seriously, I encourage you to seek guidance. Part of my full service coaching package includes weekly counseling. Sharing this post your twitter and Facebook would prove you have a sense of humor.